For all the mums out there with newborns, you’ve got a precious gift. Here’s something I wrote when I just had my baby. It was a big shock, but I hope it encourages you!
As I write this, my newborn baby is two and a half weeks old. He is currently feeding, so I’m multitasking right now. And believe me, if I couldn’t multitask while breastfeeding, I’d NEVER get anything done!
I’ve got a constantly hungry baby who prefers to sleep in someone’s arms! Which means he’s pretty attached to me right now!
Last night I slept a total of three and a half hours and changed six nappies in the wee hours of the morning (pun intended). I’m exhausted!! My husband’s on tour in Europe for the week so I’m not getting a break from baby’s constant demands.
How do I cope?
I look into his face while he’s feeding and remind myself what a miracle it is that he’s here! I look at his tiny newborn fingernails and toenails or I sit in awe at the fact that his shoulder to his elbow is the length of my thumb!! And my favourite – I smell him!! Yes, that’s right! There’s nothing like that fresh baby smell!! Or their sweet milky breath! Am I grossing you out?! If you’ve had a newborn, you’ll hopefully be able to relate!
Sure I’m sleep deprived, haven’t brushed my hair in a week cause I’ve not been out the house in that long. And my nail varnish looks Tim Burton-esque. But despite the constant feeding, burping, needy crying and nappy changing, my moments with my baby are so cherished because I almost lost him.
He almost died.
My Shocking Experience
Just over a week ago, when he was five days old, he stopped breathing. Just stopped. He was in my arms at the time breastfeeding when I noticed that he stopped sucking. He does that a lot when he starts drifting off, but I always rub his cheek to get his little jaw chomping again. This time however, was different. He didn’t move. He was completely limp and ghostly pale! And he WASN’T BREATHING!! I was wildly hysterical!! I held my lifeless baby in my arms and panicked!! Although I have a certificate in Paediatric First Aid, I WASN’T prepared for THIS!!
I ran with him into the living room shouting for my mum who is a registered nurse. I kept shouting “HE’S NOT BREATHING! HE’S NOT BREATHING!!!” And I felt utterly helpless.
Then he slowly started coming round. First his eyelids moved, then he moved a hand. And I kept praying that he would just cry and take a deep breath. If only he would just cry!! Please just cry!!
And Then It Happened
He was so floppy and his limbs moved a little but his eyes were still closed. And then it happened. He opened his little mouth and let out the most wonderful sound a mother could hear – a loud cry!
I can’t express how thrilled I was to hear him cry. I thanked God with tears that night because I almost lost my little miracle. And now when he cries I think “aww, how cute!!”. Seriously, I DO!!
Cherish every sleepless, exhausting, cute and tender moment with your newborn. Remember that they are little miracles!!
My son is now 20 months old and he’s sooooo cute. But then every mum would say that wouldn’t they? The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with him 20 months ago and after a lot of observation, they sent us home.
Now I still look at his little face and think “he’s so awesome!”. Sure he throws a tantrum here or there. Sure his nappies are filled with the most vile substance known to man. But when your kid comes up to you and gives you the tightest squeeziest hug they can, all those things are easy to forget. (And I still think he’s cute when he cries!)
If you’re a new mama, hold on girl. There are easier times ahead. Believe me!! Look at your little one through eyes of gratitude. And those sleepy eyes of yours will be looking through a lens of love.